Our first trip to Turks and Caicos delivered the usual things you expect from the Caribbean.
Clear water.
Warm sun.
Ridiculous shades of blue you cannot quite capture in photographs.
But the most valuable thing I brought home from the trip had nothing to do with beaches or weather.
It was a simple social rule.
A rule that immediately changed how I interact with people everywhere.
The Curious Friendliness of the Islands
Very quickly after arriving at the resort, my wife and I noticed something interesting.
Every interaction began with a greeting.
Not a transactional greeting. A real one.
“Good morning.”
“How are you today?”
“Hope you’re enjoying your stay.”
At first, I assumed this was just hospitality training. After all, people working at an all-inclusive resort are literally paid to be friendly.
It’s part of the job description.
But then something serendipitous happened.
I ran into a friend who happened to be staying at the same resort. Unlike me, he had spent significant time studying and living in the Caribbean. He understood the cultural rhythm of the islands far better than I did.
And he shared a small piece of advice that immediately reframed what I had been observing.
He said:
“Islanders don’t like it when people walk up and immediately ask for something. They want to be greeted first.”
Not as a formality. As a genuine interaction.
The Tourist Mistake
Most tourists approach service interactions like this:
They walk up to the bar.
“Hi, I’ll have a piña colada.”
The bartender makes the drink.
Transaction complete.
No harm done. But something important is missing.
The island way looks different.
You walk up and say:
“Hi, how are you today?”
The bartender responds.
“I’m doing well, thank you. How are you?”
You answer honestly.
“I’m great. Beautiful day today.”
And only then do you ask for your drink.
It takes maybe ten seconds longer.
But the entire interaction feels different.
The person is no longer just someone fulfilling a request. They are a human being you acknowledged before asking them to do something for you.
The Immediate Impact
Once I understood this cultural norm, I began trying it myself.
Every interaction started with a greeting.
“Good morning.”
“How’s your day going?”
“How are you doing today?”
And almost instantly, you could see the difference.
Smiles got bigger. Conversations got warmer. Interactions felt more human.
The experience stopped feeling transactional and started feeling relational.
It turns out people everywhere appreciate being acknowledged before being asked to perform a service.
Imagine that.
The Realization
What struck me most was how simple the lesson was.
This is not complicated etiquette.
It’s basic humanity.
And yet many of us have fallen into a habit of skipping it.
We approach people primarily through requests.
“Can I get…”
“Give me…”
“I need…”
We jump straight to the task.
But humans are not vending machines.
They are people first.
And people appreciate being treated like people.
Bringing the Lesson Home
When we returned home, I decided to keep the habit.
Drive-through window?
“Hi, how are you today?”
Restaurant server?
“Good evening, how’s your night going?”
Store cashier?
“Hey there, how’s your day been?”
It takes two seconds.
But the reaction is fascinating.
Often the person pauses for a moment, slightly surprised that someone actually asked them how they’re doing.
Then they answer.
And suddenly the interaction feels human again.
A Small Habit With a Big Effect
We spend a lot of time discussing big ideas about improving society.
Policies. Systems. Philosophies.
But sometimes the most powerful improvements come from very small habits.
Say hello.
Ask someone how they are.
Wait for the answer.
Then make your request.
That tiny shift changes the tone of the entire interaction.
It turns a transaction into a connection.
The Default We Should All Adopt
Since Turks and Caicos, I’ve started thinking about this as a kind of social default.
Just like saying “thank you.”
Just like saying “you’re welcome.” (This has morphed into “my pleasure” for me!)
Just like telling the truth.
A greeting should come before a request.
Always.
Before ordering food.
Before asking for help.
Before requesting a service.
Acknowledge the person first.
Then ask for the thing.
The Caribbean Secret That Works Everywhere
What I love most about this lesson is how universal it is.
It may have been taught to me on a Caribbean island, but it works everywhere.
Airports.
Restaurants.
Coffee shops.
Grocery stores.
Anywhere humans interact.
It costs nothing.
It takes seconds.
And it reminds everyone involved that the person on the other side of the counter isn’t just there to perform a task.
They’re a person.
And sometimes the smallest gestures are the ones people remember most.
All because someone in Turks and Caicos shared a simple secret:
Before you ask for something…
Say hello.
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