Category: Parenting

I Have Lived Four Lives. My Forties Are All of Them at Once.

Family, then friends, then yourself, then a family of your own. Each decade of life has its own center of gravity, until the forties arrive and ask you to live all four at once. This essay argues those decades were never separate lives but an apprenticeship: belonging, chosen loyalty, self-knowledge, and responsibility, all called on in the same afternoon. It takes the honest objection seriously (maybe the pattern is just hindsight), then lands on what the forties ask of us, closing with a mantra my mom carved into a plaque for my thirtieth birthday.

Leading from Behind

Some of the most powerful leaders you will ever encounter are the ones you barely notice. This essay explores the concept of leading from behind, inspired by a conversation with someone whose wisdom and grace left a lasting impression. It makes the case that true leadership is not about barking orders or taking credit, it is about asking the right questions, creating the conditions for others to discover things on their own, and serving without any need for recognition. Featuring a quietly remarkable story of anonymous generosity, fifty-one years of partnership, and the belief that mentoring the next generation is not optional. It is what we are here for.

Marriage Advice: Three Dates Per Month

Discussing the importance of intentionally scheduling time with your spouse to strengthen your marriage, introducing the concept of Three Dates Per Month. By designating one breakfast, one lunch, and one dinner date each month, couples can ensure they prioritize their relationship amidst life's demands, fostering connection and anticipation.

Three Poems That Keep Me Sane: What’s Hanging on My Office Wall (And Why) Part 1

Three poems hang on the wall of my office: If by Rudyard Kipling, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann, and Invictus by William Ernest Henley. I have read each of them hundreds of times and I will read each of them hundreds more. Below them on the couch sit my kids' Squishmallows, which somehow makes the whole thing better. This essay is about why these three poems are on my wall, what each one means to me, and why I think you should put them on yours too.

The Ten-Second Rule of Human Decency

During our first trip to Turks and Caicos, a friend shared a simple cultural insight that immediately changed how I interact with people everywhere. Islanders prefer that every interaction begin with a genuine greeting before making a request. Instead of walking up and asking for something immediately, you first acknowledge the person and ask how they are doing. This small habit transforms transactions into human interactions and reminds us that people are not service machines. Since learning this lesson, I’ve adopted it as a personal default, and the positive reactions it creates are remarkable.

Leaders Eat Last, Fathers Even Later

This essay argues that real fatherhood requires delayed gratification, not as a burden but as a defining virtue. Drawing on the idea that “leaders eat last,” it explains that great fathers willingly put their family’s needs ahead of their own, even in small moments like serving everyone dinner before taking a plate. Delayed gratification becomes the backbone of fatherhood, shaping a home built on stability, service, and example. Children learn not from speeches but from watching their father consistently put them first. A man who can wait, who can sacrifice quietly and purposefully, becomes the anchor of the family and leaves a legacy grounded in strength, restraint, and love.

The Fisherman and the CEO: Perspective on Life

A wealthy CEO meets a humble fisherman in a remote village and offers a grand plan for scaling his life into something “bigger.” But with each step, the fisherman asks, “And then what?”—until it becomes clear: the life the CEO is chasing is the one the fisherman already lives. A timeless reminder to question what we’re really working toward.

Breakfast with a Legend – and the Letter That Proved It. John Wooden Meets My Dad.

Breakfast with a legend: In 1986 my dad struck up an impromptu, hours-long breakfast with Coach John Wooden—then received a handwritten thank-you note and signed Pyramid of Success as proof that kindness leaves a paper trail. This Father’s Day we framed the relic, honoring the quiet greatness of both men.

Eulogizing Esther M. Tatalo Nicastro, My Mom

Reflecting on the profound loss of mom, Esther M. Tatalo Nicastro, eulogizing her as a kind, loving presence. Through grief, we honor her legacy of love and connection with everyone she knew.

The Superpower of Paying Attention: A Note to Parents with Their Heads Down

Most parents don’t realize they’re giving up a superpower—the power of presence. At my daughter’s gymnastics class, 23 out of 28 parents were glued to their phones. If that’s your default, you’ll blink and miss a decade of your child’s life. This essay isn’t about judgment—it’s a wake-up call. Try putting your phone away. Watch. Listen. Be there. It changes everything.