Note (Nov 2026): I used to swear a lot more in casual speech. Shortly before my first child was born, I read Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, which inspired me to clean up my language. I rarely swear now. I left this essay untouched because editing it now would feel disingenuous; this is how my younger self talked.
A lot of the laws that affect our lives the most seem to be the most illogical. The government tells us when we are old enough to consume alcohol & smoke tobacco, and that we are not allowed to smoke pot, use cocaine, or marry someone of the same-sex, amongst many other things that don’t seem to have much to do with anyone but us and another able-minded adult.
What gives someone else the right to tell us what we can and cannot do in the privacy of our own homes? Despite what some religious / political fanatics may tell you, no adult should ever be told how he should live his life in the privacy of his own home.
It’s kind of a double-edged sword: the government passes laws limiting our personal freedoms, yet they can’t realistically enforce those laws on private property (unless you are an idiot). This means that we are basically free to do whatever we want while inside our four walls – with one exception – we are not free to negatively affect the life of another. This includes people and domestic animals (obviously a farmer negatively affects a cow – this isn’t the same as running a dogfighting club despite what some insane Michael Vick-loving hillbilly apologists will tell you).
In short, there is really no need for laws banning specific substances or activities. The War on Drugs as well as the Anti-Gay Marriage movement could both be ended by embracing the beautifully simple yet logical solution of legalizing everything. Give people freedoms, and punish them severely when they abuse those freedoms.
You want to drink beer, do coke, smoke pot, puff ciggs, inhale Elmer’s Glue, etc, etc, etc? I don’t care. While you are on your property, you should be free to do whatever you please. However if you get behind a wheel you are now out of line – you are potentially negatively affecting others by putting their lives at risk with your driving under the influence. Want to get black-out wasted drunk? Great! However, if you beat your kid or your wife or your dog because of it, you’ve now stepped over the line. You are negatively affecting another.
To take it one step further, imagine this: it’s impossible to ban or criminalize every substance that people can use to get fucked up. If someone wants to take an edge off, or to get as wasted as possible, there is nothing any government can do to stop them. Ban pot, coke, heroin, etc, and they will use booze, liquor, CO2, ibuprofen, Viagra, bath salts, etc, etc, etc. The point is, lots of things can give you a buzz – arbitrarily banning some makes no sense.
Do what you want & don’t negatively affect others. If you’re a good person you should try to positively affect others. Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone adapted this strategy?
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Another good article, Nick. And I liked your example about Michael Vick. He was on a television program not too long ago & when asked about it, he apologized & said he had certainly made mistakes & also had to explain that to his young son. I’d like to think he was sincere, or did he just get caught??? We’ll never know.
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